Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
