she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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