In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
