dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
