You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
