do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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