Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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