So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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