i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize