You just made me feel so damn special
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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