im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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