That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
the liver wants what the liver wants
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
