then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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