So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize