he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
