I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
