I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
