i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
