I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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