Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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