Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize