Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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