Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
