My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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