You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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