i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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