didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
