Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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