That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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