hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
