I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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