thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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