You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
