I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
