I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
