i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
