he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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