Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
