he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
