I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
