If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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