He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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