It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
