ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
