we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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