Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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