omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
