Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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