and you said cock pushups were impossible
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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