so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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