She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
