woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
