we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this beer tastes like vomit already
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she peed on how many people?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
