My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
