if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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