I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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