Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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