Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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