when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
