so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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