how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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