I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
