found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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